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CHICAGO, IL—Against her anti-racist sensibilities, Mayor Lori Lightfoot has agreed to compromise on what skin colors she will do sit-down interviews with, graciously granting half of an interview to a half-black journalist. “Sure, refusing to speak to someone based on the color of their skin is the ideal – but sometimes society just isn’t ready to accept that,” said Mayor Lightfoot. “I know my speaking to a half-black man will disappoint progressives, but there are times for allowing our culture to take baby steps. Total segregation doesn’t just happen overnight.” According to sources, the half of the interview permitted will be the half where the journalist, Mr. Washington, will get to ask questions. Mayor Lightfoot will not provide any answers but will sit there for a full thirty minutes without blinking.

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